
Battle of the Beards: Gaming’s Best
Let’s be real, video game characters with full, glorious beards just hit different. A well-groomed beard in gaming isn’t just about looks; it’s a symbol of wisdom, power, and in some cases, the ability to single-handedly take down an army of bad guys while looking ridiculously cool.
From legendary warriors to rugged outlaws, we’re ranking the greatest bearded video game characters of all time. No patchy stubble allowed, only full face forests make the cut.
And if these characters make you want to level up your own beard, Bearded Coast has the beard oils, butters, and balms to keep your whiskers looking like they belong in a boss fight.
Kratos (God of War) – The Beard of Vengeance
Once a smooth-faced, rage-fueled Spartan, Kratos rebranded himself in 2018’s God of War with a massive, god-tier beard - and honestly, it was the best decision he ever made. Now, instead of just yelling and breaking things, he yells, breaks things, and looks like an absolute legend doing it.
His beard screams "I have seen things and survived." It’s thick, rugged, and the kind of beard that could chop down a tree just by glaring at it.
Beard Care Tip: Keep your beard as mighty as Kratos’ with Carpe Diem Beard Oil, because even gods need to fight off beard itch.
Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher) – The Beard of Destiny
Monster hunting is a dirty business, but Geralt of Rivia makes it look effortless with his battle-worn silver mane and rugged beard. Whether he’s fighting griffins or making bad decisions in Gwent, his beard stays flawless - probably due to some ancient Witcher magic.
The best part? In The Witcher 3, Geralt’s beard actually grows in real-time, a feature that proves CD Projekt Red really understands what gamers want.
Beard Care Tip: Keep your beard as sharp as Geralt’s sword with Old Skool Beard Butter, because a monster slayer’s beard should be tamed, not wild.
Arthur Morgan (Red Dead Redemption 2) – The Outlaw Beard
Few games take beards as seriously as Red Dead Redemption 2. Arthur Morgan’s beard grows naturally over time, and if you ignore it, you’ll end up looking like you’ve been lost in the mountains for three years.
Arthur’s beard is pure cowboy excellence. It’s scruffy, tough, and can intimidate a rival gang just by existing. Whether you go for the groomed gunslinger look or the full grizzly frontiersman, his beard is a thing of beauty.
Beard Care Tip: Don’t let your beard dry out in the Wild West. Epic Night Beard Oil keeps it hydrated, because no cowboy wants an itchy beard.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid 4) – The Stealth Beard
By the time Metal Gear Solid 4 rolls around, Snake has fully embraced the beard life, and honestly, it suits him. The man has spent years sneaking around, avoiding explosions, and dealing with convoluted government conspiracies, he earned that beard.
His salt-and-pepper facial hair adds a tactical level of cool, proving that a great beard is the ultimate stealth tool. Who needs a cardboard box when you have facial hair this good?
Beard Care Tip: Stay legendary like Snake with Dark and Stormy Beard Butter, it’s tactical hydration for your face.
Joel (The Last of Us) – The Apocalypse Beard
When civilization crumbles, two things matter: survival skills and a strong beard game. Joel has both. His thick, graying beard is the ultimate “I’ve been through some stuff” look, perfect for surviving in a world full of fungus-zombies.
His beard isn’t about style, it’s about practicality. It shields him from the elements, hides his emotions, and lets people know that he is NOT the guy to mess with.
Beard Care Tip: Even in a zombie apocalypse, dry beards are a no-go. Use True O.G. Beard Conditioner to stay smooth, even if the world isn’t.
Ezio Auditore (Assassin’s Creed Revelations) – The Assassin’s Beard
Young Ezio was clean-shaven and cocky, but by Assassin’s Creed Revelations, he had evolved, and so had his beard. His thick, well-groomed beard says, "I am older, wiser, and I could assassinate you in the blink of an eye."
This beard doesn’t just make Ezio look more experienced, it also improves his parkour aerodynamics (probably).
Beard Care Tip: Keep your beard assassin-ready with Dapper Dude Beard Oil, because a master assassin shouldn’t have an unruly beard.
Final Boss: The Ultimate Bearded Champion
From god-tier warriors to stealthy assassins, these bearded video game legends prove one thing: a great beard makes a great character even better.
Want to grow a beard that belongs in the Beard Hall of Fame? Check out Bearded Coast’s oils, butters, and conditioners - because even heroes need beard care.